I’ve been staring at my screen for a while before typing this post… I’m kinda speechless. I’m happy that I can just type it cause if I was telling this again I would be emotional. I should feel happy cause it’s weekend, the weather is good but I’m not. I don’t normally do this but I feel like I want to share this with you guys.
So for the past few months I’ve been working on my application to get admitted to the University of the Arts London. This is something that I’ve been willing to pursue for a very long time. When I was 18 I even said ”okay now might be too early but when I’m done with my bachelors I’ll move to London and go to a Fashion School.” The last few months were exciting yet a bit stressful cause I had a few assignments and paper work I had to get done for the application but during all of this, I enjoyed it. I’m 24, I know what I want and I’m confident than I was 5 years ago. I’m ready for a brand new adventure!
All the paper work was sent off and all I had to do was wait… I hate waiting but as for this I didn’t mind at all. The funny thing is I was so confident and very sure of my work and what I was talking about that I knew for sure that they will invite me for an interview. I was at work when I got an e-mail from the school that they wanted me to come over for an interview. I couldn’t stop smiling at the screen of my phone. I was soooo excited! Two weeks later I jumped on the train and was heading London town. During the next morning, I could feel my heart beating faster when I was on my way to the interview. I kept saying “Trudy you got this.’‘ I got there, the interview went alright. Not brilliant nor bad. I’m always analysing things afterwards like what I could have said better or I think about something that I forgot to say. Anyway, I didn’t want to stress myself too much cause I couldn’t rewind the time. What’s done was done. The part two of the wait (waiting if I got accepted or not) was kind off stressful. I wasn’t sure anymore. It could go either way but you know sometimes you hope for something sooo much you even get afraid you’ll jinx it.
Today I was done with the waiting and I decided to call them. I dialled the number and the woman told me she was going to give me the final decision before the end of the day. Nerve racking! I avoided my phone a bit. I wanted to know but I didn’t want to at the same time. I saw the notification that I’ve received an email from the school. I opened it and the only words my eyes fell on were ” interest in the course though…” It was a part of a sentence but I already knew this wasn’t good. Why is there a ”though” in the sentence. I read the whole email and I felt like the door got shut right in front of me. I didn’t get in. Something that you wanted for so long. I told my friends and family who were also so supportive about all of this. It’s not happening. I’m not someone who cries a lot but I couldn’t help it this time. *Sigh* I’m happy to write it down though. If you read it all, thanks! Enjoy your weekend! x